Decoding Love Language in Dating

Love Language

In Blog, Dating by Romantic Moments,

The 5 love languages

Before we dive into Decoding Love, are you aware of the 5 different love languages that people have? Love languages are ways in which people give and receive love. Everyone has a preference for how they love and how they wish to be loved. These preferences and styles can be mainly differentiated into 5 types.

1. Words of affirmation

This love language is all about verbal expression of love. These people love to give and receive compliments, words of encouragement and verbal acknowledgement of feelings.

2. Acts of service

These people feel loved when somebody does something for them. It doesn’t need to be anything elaborate but even something as simple as helping with daily household chores. For them actions speak louder than words.

3. Receiving gifts

Who doesn’t like getting gifts? But some people like it more than others. But more than the actual gift, they like the thoughtfulness and efforts behind the gifts. For them, it is the thought that counts.

4. Quality time

For these people, their partners just being with them is enough. They value the time spent together way more than anything and look at it as an act of love. For them it is all about undivided attention. They feel loved and cherished through meaningful conversations and shared activities.

5. Physical touch

Some people express love through touch and intimacy. They feel connected when they are physically close to and touching their partner. Its not all about sex, although that is important too. It is more about the loving embrace, holding hands, frequent pecks on the cheeks, etc.

Understanding your partner

Do you and your partner speak the same love language? Chances are no. Gary Chapman, the author of “The 5 love languages” says, “Each one of us has a primary love language. The key is we have to learn to speak the language of the other person”. For this we first must understand or rather decode our partner’s love language.

When you start dating, there are some observations that one consciously needs to make in order to understand the language your partner loves in. The first way to Decoding Love is to see how they show concern for you. You can see this easily through their actions of words. For example, does your partner gift you frequently, do they praise or compliment you for every little thing, do they touch you very often, do they offer to do things for you without you having to ask them? The answers to all these questions will help you understand how is it that they like to express their love for you.

Also observe how your partner responds to your actions. Assuming your love language is an act of service, if they respond to that by complimenting you for it, you might feel a little disheartened thinking they aren’t reciprocating your love. But that is far from the truth. They are in fact reciprocating in the way they best understand and express their unconditional love.

Alternatively, you could ask your partner directly how they like to be loved. This is honestly the easiest way. Ask them what would make them feel happy, loved, and cherished and you could learn a great deal from their answer. Some people themselves do not know of their love language, so maybe during this conversation, they’ll find out their own language as well as yours. That’s a win-win for sure.

Pairing different love languages for a better relationship

It is quite likely that your love language is different from your partners. In fact, it is quite common. You do not need to have the same love languages in order to have a successful relationship. But here are a few things you can do to pair both your languages successfully. Be respectful of the differences. Do things for them even if it might not reflect love the way you are used to. Be mindful of the ways of expression you are offering. For example, if your love language is physical touch and theirs is quality time, you might want to hold hands every time, while they might just want you to sit beside them and talk to them or listen to them. Both of you can then take turns to make each other feel loved by doing things their way.

It doesn’t take much to decode a love language, however it takes some amount of effort to speak the other person’s language to express unconditional love. As long as you have that figured out, it’s all working great. Good luck and keep loving!