Whether you’re blurting out something rude during an argument or sharing a comment that’s actually more of a criticism, it seems there are plenty of things you should avoid saying to your partner, if you want a healthy relationship.
“In many cases, the worst language comes out during an argument, when you lose control of your rational self,” Read on for some of the phrases that you should probably avoid, for the sake of your relationship.
“Do not take this wrong way, but…”
If you have to preface your thought with this statement, then do not say it at all. Complete honesty in relationships can often seriously back-fire. Intimacy, comfort, and closeness are often confused with self-expression. All you really want to do is share your concerns in a kinder way.
“Everyone knows you should not do that….”
“Global criticisms” are another thing to avoid. Statements like “I can not believe you”. See how global and all-encompassing they sound? Since comments like these demonize your partner as a whole person and not just the thing they did wrong. This will surely hurt their feelings.
“I hate you…”
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to lash out and say hurtful things. However, expressing hatred towards your partner is one of the most hurtful things you can say.
“I never loved you…”
This is another one that’ll echo in your partner’s head forever. This one sweeping statement diminishes an entire relationship filled with love and good memories.
“You’ve let yourself go…”
While you might have good intentions when pointing out your partner’s physical changes, keep in mind these statements are almost always hurtful. So, if you truly want to help (and not just make a rude comment) address that issue, instead of how they look.
This one doesn’t really seem like a big deal. I mean, we all said it in kindergarten, right? But do try to keep it out of your relationship, if you can. If your partner is saying something special, be direct about what is offending you without being negative. This would help you out to develop a healthy relationship.
“I don’t have the time…”
Nothing hurts more than being dismissed. So pay attention to any words, like “I don’t have the time.” That may sound like you’re trying to brush your partner off. This comes across as not caring about your partner’s needs, and may make them feel they aren’t important.
“I don’t care…”
In a similar way, telling your partner you don’t care is just utterly rude and you should avoid saying to your partner. It will shut down the communication between you and your partner. This is the last thing you want to do in a relationship.
“Who are you texting?”
While it may be tempting to ask your partner who they’re texting/calling, especially if you have had trust issues in the past. However, this isn’t the best way to express your concerns. If you’re worried about who your partner is talking to, bring it up with them directly. Asking them who they’re texting will only put them on the defensive mode.
If your partner opens up and shares a deep secret with you, do not just disregard it immediately. At the same time, if they are sharing their views about something, do not bring them down. This is because your words can have a big impact on your partner. Choosing what you say, and keeping calm when things get heated, can prevent hurtful words from affecting your relationship.
Thus, choose your words wisely, try to say things in a nicer way. If you are happy in your relationship, then do not do silly things to blow it off and avoid harsh saying to your partner.